I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
You can't just leave with hair like that
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
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