You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
