She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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