I wanna bring you to show and tell
did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
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