She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
