Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
