This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
