I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Randomize