oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
