I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
