She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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