oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
