I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I am spending my child support on dildos
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
I had to cum in my sink.
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