3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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