What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
