I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Randomize
