? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Your tits are I can't wait for
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
