TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize