hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
dude i'm inner monologue high
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
