she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
