Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
