Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
