You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
