I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
