I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
