mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
my being single is dangerous.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
