HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
i want to swaddle you in tequila
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
