I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
