I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
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