Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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