i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize