i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
