I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
