I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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