I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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