Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
