Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I could fuck to npr.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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