You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
honey bunches of taint.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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