Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
