The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
