everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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