Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Randomize
