Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
