either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Randomize
