Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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