lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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