Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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