my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
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