I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
