Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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