I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
