it was like his penis was on wheels.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
