So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
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