Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Randomize
