Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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