I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
