this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Randomize