maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
